I stopped talking. Wishing to scribble outside the lines so bad, with fierce bold dark purple streaks, but fear the scolding of doing so. That’s not uniform, it’s not following the plan of the path to … where are we going again?

I’ve started reading. I don’t read, yet am a sponge soaking it all in. Everything I am at my core, that I lost and left and forgot. Nowhere to go but back inside of me.

I witnessed a tree get hit by lightning behind me one random amazing day and stayed outside anyway. A little sunfish chased off all the other fish that got near me as I sat in the sandbar of his island. He was scary awesome and made me laugh from my core. I got a soulful book in the mail in a time and place I wasn’t supposed to be, like god hand delivered it. A blood red moon set. The moon went up and it went back down, back to bed with a flash behind the hills. “Not today!” it said and was the strangest and most magical thing I’ve ever seen. Stillness became furious in an instant on the water, like ocean swells of a hurricane. Wishing on shooting stars. Some were seek and find while others lit up the sky. Eagle flying over my head, coming back again and screeching after I said Hi. For life to always be like this. Safe, random, sporadically exciting, happy, peaceful, filling and contently simple in all is chaos and heart tugs. Freeing.

I have so much to say but nothing to say out loud anymore. I’ve missed me, says it all, as it was given back so easily in a place full of letting it all go, connecting. A place that no one can take from me. Here. Me. Home.